Healing Through Grief

This August will mark the two year anniversary of my husband’s passing.  It is amazing that two years has gone by so quickly. Reflecting on all that has unfolded, I feel especially grateful for my healing and my ability to create success despite my hardships.  The blessings and growth I have received over the last two years have not happened in isolation. Many wonderful people have loved and supported me along the way and their presence provided much ease to my suffering.  In addition to other’s support, there has been one gift that I have given myself and that is my daily practice of Tapping. Without a doubt, this practice has been a significant catalyst in my healing through grief.

If you’ve read my blogs, you know that I have been using EFT since 2011.  I often say “Tapping found me” and since that day, I have experienced significant stress relief from EFT Tapping, there has rarely been a day I haven’t Tapped.  EFT Tapping is the ultimate self-help tool and I encourage my clients to develop a personal practice because of the transformation possible with consistent use of the tool.  The practice can help clear obstacles, release old emotional debris, clear limited beliefs, quite frankly, the list is endless. For me, my practice moves and shifts according to what is going on in my life.  In the last two years, I have used it as a tool of self-soothing, along with aiding me in creating a successful private and corporate coaching practice. Tapping has helped me build patience with myself and helped navigate the tectonic changes I encountered through losing my partner and the father of my children.  My EFT practice has empowered me to face life and death head-on; literally. It has expanded my emotional resilience and helped me find motivation and optimism in dark days.

So, where does Tapping fit in terms of helping with grief?  First, my humble opinion is that grief is personal and can feel very complex.  The loss of my husband was like peeling the proverbial onion. It had many layers with lots of intense feelings.  In that ‘peeling’ there were feelings that easily rose to the surface to clear. And there were parts of my grief that couldn’t be touched at my beckoning.  Those deep layers of grief would reveal themselves in their own time and way. I learned to respect that part of my grief and as such, allowed it to unfold in its own natural way.  With Tapping, you typically take a proactive approach, identifying stresses, fears and concerns and whittling away at them. Those private, innermost aspects of grief would show when they were ready, and so I learned that forcing to clear them with Tapping was not ideal.  Instead, they became my teachers and my guides to the deepest and most profound parts of me. Those special moments were my dark night of the soul, and they awakened me to meaning and purpose and a sacred view of life.

Where Tapping was useful was helping me offload the heaviness of my everyday stresses.  Waking up to a new, unchartered life with new responsibilities overwhelmed me. After John passed, I woke up to a completely new identity with obligations that I could not have imagined or prepared for after such a lengthy illness.  Overnight I became “single mother and widow”. I became the sole provider to my children, the protector of their future and I worried greatly about how they would live without their dad. These were burdens to my soul and spirit. In addition, I needed to resurrect my career after a year of being at home as John’s caretaker. To say that this time was intense would be an understatement.  However, these burdens were exactly where I would put the tool to work. I listed things out that made me scared and overwhelmed. I proactively sought out the limited beliefs I had about being a single parent and what it meant to be a widow. I tapped on being lonely and I tapped on not feeling understood. Over time, my emotions felt less consuming. Life got easier as a result and I felt more positive about my future.  

I realized the worries I carried about my children were projections of my fear.  I learned to release myself of the pain that was causing me. Through Tapping, I created space for the present moment, allowing me to be more available and with my children.  
There is a reason why Tapping is called Emotional Freedom Technique.  It helps to free you from emotional pain.   Tapping helped pull some of what was stuck  out of my system so that I wasn’t bogged down and overloaded.   As a result, I have been able to liberate myself from the heaviness in my body and in my mind.  I am able to move forward with greater ease to create a life I am proud of. Tapping gives me hope and optimism for my future.

I know I am not alone.  We are all grieving. We have all lost a loved one.  But there are thousands of other ways we may feel grief or loss.  We are constantly evolving. We change jobs, relationships dissolve, and family dynamics shift.  We mourn our youth as we age. We move from homes and communities leaving beloved communities behind.  No one is exempt from grief. Grief is universal.

But, so is healing.

Healing is also universal.  Healing from grief is possible.  With patience and a practice of self-love it can and will happen.  Tapping facilitates all of the attributes of healing and it is a gift you can give yourself at any time.  

Thank you for listening to my story.  I am here, ready to support you.

With peace and love,
Gretchen

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